Canon: this character’s dead!
Me: oh no they’re not, uh, they’re just resting
Canon: they’re stone dead!
Me: n-no – they’re just stunned, that’s it!
Canon: STUNNED?!
Me: they’re – they’re probably just pinin’ for the fjords
Canon: PINING for the FJORDS? Now see here! They’re bleeding demised! Look, they’re lying on their back!
Me: that character prefers sleeping on their back, you know
Canon: this character has ceased to be! They’ve expired and gone to meet their maker! They’re stiff! Bereft of life, they rest in peace! They’re pushin’ up daisies! Their metabolic processes are history! They’re off the twig! They’ve kicked the bucket! They’ve shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding CHOIR INVISIBLE!
Me: remarkable character, that one
Canon: THIS IS AN EX-CHARACTER!
Me: lovely backstory

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